5 Red Flags In Men No One Talks About
There are very obvious red flags that everyone know about men, like him looking at other girls, talking to his exes, pressuring you into sex… That’s easy-to-see signs of a man that you shouldn’t date.
But there is another category of men, that are apparently perfect, but the further the relationship goes, the worse they get. Were they hiding their true self all along ?
No, you just didn’t catch the signs early on.
That’s what this article is about, small signs that grow into big issues.
Red flags are not always sign of issues, but they are always worth checking. Take your time to really know someone before starting to date. Time is the best test to sort the wheat from the chaff.
So before rushing into a relationship, check the 5 red flags in men that no one talks about.
Let’s start.
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1. Plays the victim about his past relationships
Most men have had relationships, and that’s totally normal. Break up happens, we all mess up sometimes. Don’t try to understand why the break up happened. Relationships are complex and the last people that really understand what happens in it, are the main protagonists.
And don’t try to find out why this perfect dude in front of you is still single. I know enough great men that are still single to understand that life isn’t always fair (and that some of them are really bad at showing how good they are).
What you should do, thought, is open your ears as wide as possible when the subject of your interest starts talking about it. How does he present things ?
A man that doesn’t take responsibility for his life and his decisions hasn’t finished his growth. If you’re into man-child, go for it. Otherwise think carefully before following up with it.
2. Lack of long term friends
It happens that life goes in a way that makes it so you lose sight with old friends. It’s also possible the guy is just so introvert he’s never made friends. But we are not here to give a free pass to doubt. We are here to avoid a possible mistake.
Relationships and friendships are two different things (yes, you can’t do both at the same time, no matter what some people say…). If a guy never managed to keep a friendship for more than a few years, it can mean only two things: Lack of care, or drama. A passive cause, or an active one. In both cases you are facing a guy that has issues setting priorities. The excuse ‘I didn’t have time’ is a poor one, there is always time for a quick drink. The excuse ‘It’s their fault’ shows a lack of responsibility, and we go back to the point we’ve seen before. It’s fine to lose some long time friends along the way, but all of them ? There might be an issue behind it.
So be sure to check the friendship situation of the guy.
3. Inconsistent in his communication
Hot, cold, cold, hot, lukewarm, cold. Worst kind of shower. Even worst kind of man.
One of the best qualities you can find in a man is stability and reliability. As a woman, you need your man to be a rock when hormones kick in and you get emotional all of the sudden.
Nothing makes a couple as fragile as a man you can’t rely on. If you send him a message, do you know how long it’ll take him to reply ? Is it always different ? Sometimes hours, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes ignoring you ? Is he sometimes cold, sometimes warm ?
That’s a big red flag. His interest in you shouldn’t waver or depend on the weather.
You should be a priority, or very close to it. Don’t settle for any less and if it’s not the case with the man you’re seeing at the moment, have a discussion with him. If nothing comes out of it, leave him.
4. He doesn’t treat service workers (waiters) well
I don’t remember where I read this, but it stuck. How a man treats people under him shows a lot about him. Service waiters aren’t exactly ‘under’ the client, but it’s usually the only example you can find (apart if you’re dating a big shot).
So how is he ? Nice ? Neutral ? An asshole ? That is pretty easy to check, and it gives a good idea on how he’ll treat you.
I don’t care who your man is or who he thinks he is, but never date a man that uses the little power he is given to be an absolute nightmare.
5. He criticizes people often
This point is connected to the one above. How does he treat other people ? Is he a critic, telling you how ugly this person is, or how much of an asshole is the guy he just smiled at? Yeah, red flag.
My mother told me something when I was younger that became quickly a reality: people that criticize others in front of you, will also criticize you in front of others.
Avoid criticism, it’s usually a mechanism they built to feel better about themselves. No one wants to be used like that.
That’s it for the red flags no one talks about.
Maybe you’ve heard of some of those but hey, it’s a pretty good list, no?
Remember that red flags aren’t absolute truths about someone, we all are different and we all carry some red flags that aren’t actually proofs of big issues.
Sometimes there are very valid reasons behind the red colour, but I’m here to make sure you avoid making a big mistake. And please get rid of the idea that an apparent mistake can hide a beautiful story, it’s usually not the case.
Be careful out there, normalize the fact to test the man you’re interested in. Don’t catch feelings before knowing the guy is good and most importantly: protect yourself.
And as always, Thrive In Style ✨
